hello:)

Welcome! If you are seeing this, you might have come across my website through Instagram. This part of my website is new, and I am excited to update this according to what is happening during my time away from school. First of all, I do have a story to share that might be as realistic as it gets. How did I end up here?

I am going to take myself back to the end of 12th grade. I had just received acceptance emails and many generous scholarship opportunities. I was feeling like I really aced the audition process even if my audition was one video that I reused because there was no way I was going to record 200 more takes of the same video. Ugh… Anyway, after the horrendous but successful audition period, I was super excited to go to music school so that I could be just like my high school music teacher. He was (and still is) a figure that I really looked up to and I wanted to be someone just like him. After getting accepted to all of the schools, I chose the school where my music teacher attended and where my private lesson teacher went for his master’s degree!

My audition set up (COVID times)

At this point, I was very excited to learn more about music, my instrument, and how to teach others.

Every time I talk to someone about my first year, I tell them “it is like getting pushed into a fire”. It is SO true as someone who barely studied music theory or sang in key her entire life. I was very terrible at sight reading and honestly, my four mallet technique was very underdeveloped. It was a huge change for my life. I did not have to study anything else but music and so it felt weird not having biology during 4th period. Since I was very uneducated with music theory, I would ask my peers for help and because of them, I was able to further understand the concepts which made first year a little more bearable. The very first year is known to be insanely difficult and BUSY but I’ve never had more fun studying how the key of a piece can modulate or playing a 5-Octave marimba.. I REPEAT. 5 OCTAVE MARIMBA! (I never seen one in real life until I got to school)

In my second year, I began to put myself out there more with my instrument. I auditioned to the TSYO and got rejected, performed at the welcome concert, wasn’t very successful, and I began to feel lost. Why was I feeling so nervous when it came to performing, and why did I criticize myself so much for the tiniest mistakes? In my opinion, I felt like I was destroying myself after my mistakes which honestly made me feel worse than I ever was as a percussionist. After getting rejected and having an unsuccessful performance, I pushed myself to become better and better. To exceed people’s expectations of me, an unconfident music education major, is what I wanted to do. From there, I had the most fulfilling year yet. I performed alongside James Campbell and Sam Little on Allan Gilliland’s Dreaming of the Masters I, my playing got more expressive, and I got into the National Youth Band. These performances marked a turning point in my career. I wanted to perform but where did I want to perform? On the podium or at the back of the stage? I wasn’t sure.

It wasn’t until 3rd year where I finally realized what I loved most and wanted to pursue. I wanted to be a music teacher so badly in my first year but this year showed me a lot about percussion, particularly the orchestral side. I decided to audition for the TSYO again and this time, I was accepted. I worked extra hard that summer because I wanted to try orchestral percussion. I have always loved orchestral music but when I listened to my favourite orchestral pieces, I developed a curiosity for the percussion section. Why did it sound so… AWESOME?! Me being the band-loving nerd, I pushed myself to try something different even if it meant sitting until the 4th movement…

At the beginning of this year, I had the opportunity to take the stage again at the Welcome Concert with my dear friend, Claudia. This performance was severely different from last time because I was more confident in myself. I was excited to play even if my brain was convinced that I was scared out of my mind to play in front of so many people. After doing this performance, I was so proud of us because we played very well together and it was like something I have never experienced before.

TSYO deserves a separate paragraph. Anyway, throughout the year with the TSYO and my coach, I have fallen in love with orchestral music all over again, this time, with more passion for the instruments and how the orchestra works together. The very first time I saw the TSO, I was shocked because what I was hearing live sounded just like the recordings I’ve listened to except… IT WAS LIVE! It was shocking to hear an orchestra play for the first time and now, I was part of the youth orchestra. As a member of the orchestra, I worked very hard on my repertoire throughout the year because it was a very valuable experience for me, I got to play insane repertoire. I was encouraged to explore percussion more and to find sounds that I like. Since my first year with the TSYO was very positive, I was inspired to pursue orchestral percussion.

That was until life hit me…

At my part-time job, I had my shifts cut over summer so I was not able to work 5 days a week and get a hefty pay cheque for a student like me. I was on my own financially at this point and I had to pay for my commute to school which was roughly around $300 a month (until the transit system in Toronto decided to introduce the “One Fare” program 😍). The commute and my daily expenses for food ate up the money from my pay cheque of 2-3 work days bi-weekly… That wasn’t enough and applications for schools began to open up. I was starting to feel lost again. I wasn’t sure what to do until I had a talk with my percussion teacher.

This last year of university? It was the year I truly felt like I belonged in my program and with my instrument.

After the talk with my teacher, I had a new sense of self. I returned back to my dreams of being a music teacher even if I wasn’t sure about it anymore. I was able to apply to one school only with the money I had left. While I had this new sense of belonging, I was still pursuing my dreams of becoming an orchestral player. I was constantly improving my percussion playing throughout the entire year. My teachers this year, they supported me and provided me with so much to begin thinking about when I become a teacher. They brought me out of my comfort zone and facilitated change within myself as a musician, teacher, and conductor. I made new friends around the school through the FMUA and created silly content just to give the FMUA page a push in the right direction.

At the end of the year, I decided to bring back the Music Education Recital along with my EMU456 colleagues. Even if there were 5 of us in the course, my colleagues inspired me to bring it back. They are some of the most outstanding musicians in the music education program and I look up to them for their wisdom and their passion to inspire others. The recital was very successful but unsuccessful for the livestream (lol). From this recital, I was set on becoming a music teacher.

What am I up to now?

Well I got rejected from the school I applied to… It doesn’t hurt though. This rejection is what fuels my story.

I am currently taking a gap year to figure things out financially, and how I am going to go about the next few years of my life. I also need to gain tons of experience outside of school before I apply again. To those who are with me throughout this journey, thank you for being here with me.

Until next time!

Elyssa Arde